"Every good story has conflict....

...what seems futile and hopeless gains meaning."

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20, NIV).

God, you sure do give me winks when I am discouraged.  


Yesterday and today I wanted to write something horrible, my broken heart and dissatisfaction with my current circumstance.  After reading my daily, Proverbs31 email....well, the hug You just gave me let me know I can keep going a little bit longer. 

Thank you God for your everlasting love and grace.  I may be a hard headed, throw my hands up, I can do bad all by myself child of Yours but I thank you. 


“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” (Corinthians 4:17)

Check please.....

Taking me back....

Today is the day. 


FEAR IS A LIAR!!!!! 


Today, I take me back. 

It feels so good to say....taking me back!  Try it?  There is something powerful about taking your life back and moving forward in your skin.  My struggle always is deep rooted in what/how others perceive me.  I am just-because-I-talk-to-you-doesn't-mean-I-like-you; HOWEVER, don't dislike me either types. 

But today....I am doing it for me. 

#unapologeticallyme

Check please....

Dear God...

In talking with Jesus, He reminds me that You are bigger than the problem. In these past several months I have to remind myself that "fear is the lie" and that You said, "You will neither forsake me or leave me".  I'll admit. At times I feel alone.  In this season I feel more alone than ever.  Everyday I am surrounded by people but I feel alone.  It's like in the movies when you are going through the emotions and life around is flying by.  

There are amazing things going on in my life currently and I can't enjoy them because of the problem.  

The problem has taken front and center of life and I am beyond pissed the **** off at it.  

And everyone is suffering...everyone.  

Check please....

She's the hoarder...and I'm the daughter

Today. I try to be the bigger person....the daughter I need to be. Here is where I started because the hoarder is "too tired".

Retreat!!!!

God really has a sense of humor.




May I retreat my situation?!?!?!?   Sweet. Baby. Jesus. 



I've lost my peace of mind, serenity and down time all in a matter of a months time.  Why did I do this to myself? 

4 kids and a dog I don't want. 


Seriously people!  I'm a free spirit....I am supposed to fly.  Not be in a glass box that I can't even shatter.  HOLY DRAGONTAILS!!!!   I need my wings back. 

One year committed, one year committed.  Breathe. 


On my monitor at work I have a bright yellow post it note that reads, "Just because my circumstances weren't positive, doesn't mean I can't be" 2 Corinthians 10:5.

Along with, "lets put down courage crushing thoughts and pick up Christ's confidence". 

Sheesh, maybe I was foreshadowing what was to come in my life. 


Check please....

It's Tuesday...all day

Mentally...I am defeated, anger and just want to disappear. God definitely but all the right people in my life to support me.

I am NOT enough...and that's OK

Mood: Complacent Blogging: @ work My heart and everything in me is screaming, "I am not enough and that's okay". I am okay with that. Why isn't the world? More directly....my world. In the past seven years a series of events have happened in my life: 1. I had my second child 2. My grandfather passed away 3. Job transfer 4. Moved cities 5. Got a divorce after 10 years of marriage 6. Started dating again 7. Step-dad passed away 8. My grandmother passed away 9. Got engaged 10. Mom had neck surgery 11. Ended engagement 12. Moved in with my mother EVERY single event has changed me....my thoughts...my life. After 20 years, I moved in with my mother. On the outside of this "clear house" the benefits for my little family seemed inviting. My children, whom are close to my mother would see her more often, they will be able to walk to and from school, my daughter will be able to compete at a national level in gymnastics, we could travel more, my son can also find an extracurricular activity that he enjoys without the burden of ALWAYS being at the gym with his sister and as a single mother I would be able to reestablish my savings account. HOWEVER, the heartburn to all of this is....my mother's not well. That's all I can say today. Check please....